The Paramedic Method

FIRST AID FOR WORDY WRITING · R. LANHAM, REVISING PROSE · APPLY AFTER DRAFTING

The 7-Step Pass

  1. Circle the prepositions. of · in · for · to · with · by · on · at — strings of them = lard.
  2. Box every "to be" verb. is · are · was · were · be · been · being — they hide the real action.
  3. Find the action. Ask: who's kicking who? That's your verb.
  4. Make the doer the subject. "X did Y" — active, front-loaded.
  5. Cut slow wind-ups. "The point I want to make is…" → just make it.
  6. Cut redundancies. "thorough research over many years" → "thorough research."
  7. Cut "there is / it is." "There is a meeting that…" → "The meeting…"

Worked Example

✗ "The point I am trying to make is that the issue of wordiness is something my reader would really like to see eliminated." (24 words)
✓ "My reader wants me to eliminate wordiness." (7 words · 71% lard cut)
LARD FACTOR = (words cut ÷ original words)  |  TARGET 30–50%

Field Rules

  1. Bottom line first. The ask goes in sentence one (BLUF).
  2. "Use," not "utilize." Common word beats fancy word, every time.
  3. One comma? Try two sentences. Short sentences read faster.
  4. Read it aloud. If you run out of breath, it's too long.
Email targets (Boomerang, 40M emails): body 50–125 words · subject 3–4 words · ~3rd–8th grade reading level.